Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Awkward

Do you remember that line in the movie "Bridget Jones' Diary" where she says, and I paraphrase, "I don't need you to humiliate me, I do a pretty good job of that myself already"? For all of the movie's stellar lines, I relate to this one closely, because I am, sort of awkward.

If you know me well (as with most people reading this blog), I may not seem that way and might seem socially adjusted. Truth of the matter is, I'm horrible with meeting people the first time, mostly because I am admittedly shy around people I'm not yet comfortable with. I hardly talk, I stare, I fumble, I giggle. I do warm up to people easily though, and when that happens, I start acting like a human being again.

Now that I'm in my thirties, its a bit more under control, but it was ghastly in my teens. My awkwardness exhibited itself more than a couple of times in high school and early college and produced many cringe-worthy memories. 

A number of gaffes are running through my head right now, and its so embarrassing I sometimes wish I could will it right out of my memories (and of course, more importantly, the memories of those who actually saw!).  The problem is, I can't, and the best I can do is to learn from it and to make sure I walk properly and try not to fall on my face while walking through a hallway with my entire hallway high school class watching.

Lesson for today: I think this was brought on by listening to too much Morrissey.

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